We open up in the huge space hulk, Toro Watanabe and Guy Makihashi are standing infront of a huge canvass.
Toro: Ladies and Gentlemen, every once and a while we have the pleasure of witnessing a true television event. One that changes the way we look at the world. 1997 MTV released Celeberty Death Match to the air waves, soon Nick and Johnny would become interdimentional super stars.
Guy: 1998 We released our own show Anime Death Match. Now Anime got it's turn.
Toro: 1998 Anime vs ACME is founded under the name of The Bi Monthly Sailor Sensi Cross Over Event.
Guy: Together these shows have created a legacy simply known as the Death Match Legacy. Who can foget the battle of Bigfoot vs Nessie on CDM? Or when the "Moon" and Pissed off Pretty Sammy clashed for the first time? Or when Sepiroth fought Galaxia on Anime vs ACME?
Toro: Not many. And tonight a new face will appear. They will add thier own story to the Death Match Legacy.
Guy: Broadcsting around the universe.... and to all most EVERY prallel dimention...this is ....
The leader in violence this side of the Malestrom!
Toro: Well out job is done for a bit! We now turn you over to the Saiyan in charge. You won't know him from the DBZ series, but he's just as tough! GOGETZA!
Special thanks to Son Goharetto for doing this imporved pic of Gogetza.
+Gogetza walks on camera. His eyes glow with a red light.+
Gogetza: Thank you! Now all you fans out there, you have come to see the Arena. But I know you're all asking what makes us so different from the other Death Match shows? Well I'll tell ya! We just ain't Anime. We are Anime, Manga, giant monster films, and RPG's! Here old grudges will be settled! New ones will be made! And this time everyone get's hurt... real bad!! We've got a crew dedicated to bringing you the best in brutality! And it is with great pleasure that I introduce them. First hailing from Chalderon, he's my 2nd in command .... Grand Ork Warlord Garshrink Grimjaw!
+Garshrink walks on camera while the fans cheer wildly. He walks up next to Gogetza and fires his kustom shoota into the air.+
Gogetza: Next, also from Chalderon, he's the manichal mechanic, the twisted tank head. The guy who makes shure every thing works right! Ork Mekboy SkarGob Zagbad!
+A huge tank comes roaring into view, the hatch pops open and SkarGob sticks his head out of the hatch waving.+
Gogetza: As any one knows, you got to have a referee. Well we got one to, half daemon, half human Ghul Dhan the Black!
+Ghul Dhan walks on camera and takes a bow.+
Gogetza: And what Death Match show would be complete with out a interview correspondent? We've got ours Miss Debbie Mantenopolus!
+Mantenopolus walks on camera with a big smile on her face.+
Gogetza: And finally, as you all know the heart behind any show like this is It's announcers. Those dedicated individuals who bring you the scoop on what's happening.
So it is with great pleasure that I introduce our Arena announcers....NICK DIAMOND, JOHNNY GOMEZ, AND STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
+The announcers booth lights up with a flash revealing the terrible trio.+
Nick: Welcome to the arena!(wild cheers) The 2nd place leader of Anime related brutality sports! Now with out further adieu the grand opening of THE ARENA! Toro, Guy would you do the honors.
+Toro and Guy pick up a giant pair of scissors. The cut a ribbon tying the huge canvas tent . The tent falls away exposing a new beautiful ring. Fireworks light up the lofty hulk. Giant girders, and catwalks criss cross high above the ring as giant neon sign lights up. An extra announcer stands in the middle of the ring.+
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen... assume the crash position...llllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeetttttttttsssss get ready to DEATHMATCH!!!!
Gogetza: And now The Arena is officially on the air! Nick, Johnny tell em what tonights match will be!
Johnny: It's a crossover of galactic proportions! Japan's greatest warriors Vs jolly old England's best fantasy creations this is......
The Arena: Anime Vs Games Workshop.
Featuring the table top battle games....
Guy: What's the line up?
Stone Cold: Well tonight's matches will be bloody indeed. First off It's Piccolo Vs Grand Ork Warlord Grazul Ug Thalruka. Then daemons populate our ring when team daemon anime fights team daemon Warhammer. Next will be resident drunkard Misato Katsuragi Vs the best brewer of beer in the old world Joseph Bugman. After that It's assassin Vs ninja when Ninja Master Gara fights Deathmaster Snitch chief assassin of clan Eshin. Then finally Anime sorceress Lina Inverse Vs a random wizard from the Warhammer world.
Guy: Kind of makes me feel insignificant.
Toro: You are insignificant.
+Gogetza leads Toro and Guy to their seats.+
Nick: Now let's get to the first fight of the night! Piccolo Vs Grand Ork Warlord Ghazgukull Mag Uruk Thraka!
Johnny: Their mean, their green, and their ready to kick each others asses!
Stone Cold would you line up the vital stats?
Austin: Here are the facts on these heavy weight contenders...
One of earth's greatest threats before Dragon Ball Z, but later gave up the evil persona. Now is one of earth's greatest defenders. Can regenerate limbs.
Lead the most destructive invasion of orks ever recorded, conquered 10 Imperial held worlds before being stopped at the battle of Armageddon by renowned human general Commissioner Yarvick. Is unnaturally tough to kill.
And those are the facts, and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!
Johnny: Now let's go ring side wear our combatants are ready to square off!
+Foucus on the ring.+
Ghul Dhan: Ladies and Gentlemen this is the Arena the leader in violence this side of the Malestrom! In the blue corner the devil Nameik him self PICCOLO!
+Piccolo stands in his corner arms crossed.+
And in the red corner, the terror of space GRAND ORK WARLORD GHAZGUKUL MAG URUK THRAKKA!!
+Thraka glares at Piccolo from his corner. Ghul Dhan signals for them to meet in the center. They walk up to him.+
Ghul Dhan: Ok, I've explained the rules to both of you, I want a good clean fight. LET'S GET IT ON! +Bell rings.+
+Piccolo and Thraka circle each other looking for an opening.+
Thraka: I'm gonna drop youz like a bad habit!
Piccolo: Bad habits aren't that easy to drop.
+Piccolo disappears, Thraka looks around confused. Piccolo reapers behind Thraka and kicks him good and hard. Thraka slams into the turnbuckle, and falls to the mat.+
Piccolo: Too easy...
Nick: It looks like Thraka down already!
+Thraka grunts and he jumps back to his feet.+
Nick: Then again I may have spoken too soon.
Johnny: It looks like his natural ork toughness absorbed most of the damage.
Thraka: You're mine punk!
+Thraka charges Piccolo and throws a punch at him, but Piccolo easily dodges it. Thraka tries again and again but can't land a punch.+
Austin: One problem about that natural ork toughness his speed sucks.
+Thraka gets really pissed off, he gnashes his fangs and howls in frustration. His eyes begin to glow red.+
Thraka: ERE WE GO! WWWWAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH ORKS!!!!
Johnny: The dreaded ork Waaarrrggghhh! Piccolos in trouble now!
+Thraka grabs Piccolo by the shoulders and throws him to the canvass. He then kicks Piccolo repeatedly in the spleen, Piccolo rolls away and jumps up. He charges Thalruka and grabs his shoulders, Piccolo delivers a head but. A loud CLANG is heard as Piccolo stumbles away as he clutches his head. Thraka grins and takes of his ruined helmet. Revealing a metal skull.+
Thraka: It pays to have titanium in place of bone!
Piccolo: You bastard! Take this!
+Piccolo throws an energy blast at Thraka, it hits the ork but fails to wound him.+
Nick: It looks like Thraka's toughness has saved his rear again.
Thraka: Ohhh big deal slug! I can do dat too. +Draws his gun.+
You're ass is mine!
+Thraka opens fire but misses with every shot.+
Johnny: Another ork weakness, they can't shoot straight.
+Thraka is undeterred and let's loose another volley, this time he gets lucky and blows off one of Piccolo's arms.+
Piccolo: That's it! Time to do you in!
+Piccolo put's two fingers on his forehead and begins to concentrate.+
Nick: That stance!
Austin: He's gonna let loose a...... um.... what ever you call it...Makensupo?
Johnny: I thought it was Makinsappisho.
Nick: I thought it was Special Beam Cannon.
+Stone Cold glares at Nick.+
Austin: We don't allow bad dub's in this hulk!
+Thraka aims his cannon, but as he lines up the sight Piccolo fires the beam. It slams into Thalruka drilling into him, then he explodes.+
Nick: It's all over! There's nothing left but a big green stain on the canvass!
Mills: Piccolo is the winner!(bell rings)
Piccolo: Was their any doubt?
Johnny: That brings the total score to Anime 1 and GW 0.
Let's see if Games Workshop can make a come back!
Nick: Now it's time for things to get daemonic!
We've got four of the toughest daemons in Anime history Vs four of the toughest daemons in Warhammer history! Stone Cold would you line up the teams?
Team Daemon Anime
Daemon Dragon King Gav
Team Daemon Warhammer
A Bloodthister greater daemon of Krone
A Great Unclean One greater daemon of Nurgle
A Keeper of Secrets greater daemon of Slanesh
Ghul Dhan the Black
Ghul Dhan: Crap! I forgot I was in this match! Johnny take over for me!
Johnny: Well we're ready to go ring side.
+View switches to the ring.+
In the blue corner TEAM DAEMON ANIME!!!
And in the red corner TEAM DAEMON WARHAMMER!
+Johnny calls the teams forward.+
Johnny: Give 'em hell boys! +bell rings+
+Team DW wastes no time the Blood thirster charges Gav, the Keeper of Secrets turns to Ifurita, and the Great Unclean One waddles over to Inu-Yasha. Only the Ghul Dhan stays put. Team DA responds quickly, Inu-Yasha throws his blood claws at the Great Unclean One but misses, Gav draws his sword and blocks a wild swing from the Bloodthister Ax. Ifurita gets her staff ready, but the Keeper of Secrets doesn't attack it just stares at her.+
Ifurita: Come on! Attack me!
KOS: My little beauty, come to me.
Ifurita: Do you really think I'd be stupid enough to fall for that?
KOS: Look into my eyes...
+Ifurita glances at the Keepers eyes, and immediately goes into zombie mode.+
Johnny: Big mistake by Ifurita, they say no one can resist the gaze of a Keeper of Secrets!
KOS: +Points to Xellos+ Dispose of that pest!
Ifurita: Yes master...
+Ifurita charges Xellos swinging her staff at his skull, Xellos side steps her blow and chuckles to him self.+
Xellos: My my, this won't do at all.
+Xellos smacks Ifurita upside the head. She snaps out of the zombie mode and turns to the Keeper of Secrets.+
Ifurita: YOU BASTARD! +Powers up her staff+ I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!
KOS: Just try it! +powers up its eye beams+
+Ifurita and the Keeper of Secrets fire simultaneously Ifurita's upper torso explodes in a shower of gore. The Keeper of Secrets gets a hole blown in his torso and falls to the mat.+
Nick: It looks like first blood down there, both Ifurita and the Keeper of Secrets go down. But wait, the Blood thirster is pushing the attack against Gav!
+ The Bloodthister is swinging his ax again and again at Gav the daemon king tries to defend with his sword. But the Bloodthister pushes the attack. Gav jumps back and throws a spell at the Bloodthister.+
Gav: GAV FLARE!
+The spell flys at the Bloodthister. It hits and the daemon dissapears in a flash of light. But as the light fades away the Bloodthister is standing unscathed.+
Nick: To bad for Gav. He didn't know that magic has no effect on the minions of the blood god.
+The Bloodthister charges Gav and chops off the daemons head. he swings the severd head aloft.+
Bloodthister: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE OF KRONE!
Austin: Well there goes Gav.
+As the Bloodthister turns towards Inu-Yusha, and growls at him. Inu-Yusha shrugs leaps at the daemon and cut's it in half with the Tetsusaiga.+
Johnny: That's gotta hurt, it looks like the Great Unclean One is trying something.
+The GUO pulls out a chunk of It's guts and throws it at Inu-Yusha. The intestines splatter against his face. Inu-Yusha grits his teeth and runs at the daemon he swings his sword at the GUO's stomach. The blade opens up the skin, revealing the intestines of the daemon. The GUO grins and the intestines dart out and wrap around Inu-Yusha. He is dragged towards the daemons stomach.+
Inu-Yusha: LET GO OF ME!!
+He swings his sword and cleaves the daemon down the middle. Inu-Yusha smiles but is hit from the behind by a huge staff. He goes flying out of the ring and lands on Guy.+
Nick: It looks like Ghul Dhan and Xellos are the only ones left.
+The daemons stare at each other but don't move at all. Xellos reaches out with his staff, it is deflected by a wall of fire. Ghul Dhan swings his staff at Xellos, but it is deflected by an energy shield.+
Ghul Dhan: We seem to be evenly matched....
Xellos: So it seems. There must be another way to settle this....
Ghul Dhan: I know! Let's play Magic: The Gathering. But let's wait till after the episode.
+Xellos walks off.+
Nick: On to our next fight then.
Johnny: We call this match The Battle of the Beer!
Austin: This all got started a while back. A band of Night Gobilns burned the stills of Bugman to the ground, Bugman thought he had lost his book of recipes in the inferno. Well they actually survived, and through a long and complicated path ended up in the hands of Misato Katsuragi. Now she started manufacturing the potent brews under her own name, and when Bugman found out about this his Draven pride demanded a fight to the death.
Nick: So that's why they're here, for the beer.
Austin: And here's the vital stats...
Now Bugman being a Dwarf is like a compact garbage can. Short, stout and he can take a beating. But being only 3 ft tall Misato might be able to use her height to her advantage.
Misato on the other hand is tall and agile ,but she isn't that strong. Another disadvantage is her legs. Thin and almost toothpick like, if she takes a hit to them she'll go down faster than the Titanic.
And those are the fighter facts and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!
Johnny: And it looks like their ready to take to the ring!
Ghul Dhan: In the blue corner the bone crushing brewer JOSEPH BUGMAN!! (wild cheers)
And in the red corner the busty beer hound MISATO KATSURAGI!! (wild cheers)
Ghul Dhan: Ok you two I want a good clean fight. NOW LET'S GET IT ON!
+ Misato walks towards Bugman, but stops as he holds up his hand.+
Bugman: +Holds up two mugs of beer+ Before we start Misato I would like to join you in a drink. In a fight to the death like this it is Dwarven tradition to have a drink of beer before we start.
+ Misato thinks for a second and then takes a mug.+
Misato: Cheers. (Clinks mugs together and then chugs hers, Bugman does the same.) Ok now I'm taking you down!
+ Misato pulls out her revolver and fires three shots at Bagman's chest. The bullets score direct hits and Bugman falls to the canvas.+
Austin: It looks like Bugman's down already...
+ Bugman grunts and picks him self back up.+
Austin: Never mind....
Nick: Wait a minute, see that rune on his armor, the large G?
Johnny: What about it?
Nick: That's the Master Rune of Gromril, it makes that armor nearly un breakable, Mistao's going to need a higher caliber gun.
Bugman: You want my beer bitch? HERE HAVE SOME!
+Bugman picks up a barrel of Bloodweiser and rolls it at Misato. It hits her in the legs knocking her to the canvass. Bugman walks up to her holding another barrel.+
Bugman: You look tired Misato.. maybe you need a nice cold drink.
+Bugman slams the barrel of beer over Misato's head trapping her inside. Bugman then unleashes a furious barrage of punches to Misatos face. Misato sweep kicks Bugman and he falls to the mat. Misato grunts and breaks the barrel freeing her self.+
Misato: You are dead shrimp...
+Misato pulls out a Desert Eagle .44 calaber.+
Misato: Ask your self do you feel lucky? Well do ya? PUNK!
Johnny: This is looking bad for Bugman! Misato may have this one wrapped up!
+Misato aims the gun at Bugman's head, but before she can pull the trigger her hand begins to shake violently. Her face becomes flustered and she can't seem to stand up straight.+
Austin: What the hell? She looks drunk!
+Gogetza appears behind Nick.+
Gogetza: Draven brews contain five times the alcohol of their human counterparts. I new this was going to happen, just didn't know when.
Nick: So you're saying that with just one mug of beer she's drunk?
+Misato is staggering all over the ring, Bugman grins. He pulls out his war hammer and brings it down on Misato's head. Misato's eyes roll up into her head and she collapses. Bugman searches her and comes across the book.+
Bugman: BY GRIMNAR! IT'S MINE AGAIN! +turns to his assistants sitting in the adiance.+ Come on ladz we've got work to do! But first to finish off Misato.
+He turns to finish the job, but Misato's being dragged out of the ring by Shinji, Asuka, and Rei.+
Bugman: Fine! Run you little coward! I got beer to brew. +walks off+
Nick: What a fight! Wouldn't you say Gogetza? +looks around+
Were did he go?
Johnny: Never mind that we've still got blood to spill!
Nick: That's right! For centuries scholars have debated which is better assassins of ninjas? Well tonight we'll settle this dispute once and for all! It's Ninja Master Gara Vs Deathmaster Snikch Chief Assassin of Clan Eshin.
Ghul Dhan: Now let's get this fight under way!
In the blue corner NINJA MASTER GARA!
In the red corner DEATHMASTER SNIKCH!!
+Gara stands in his corner but Snikch is now where in sight.+
Austin: Where is that assassin?
+Suddenly a flurry of ninja stars fly from Snikch's corner right at Gara, Gara jumps aside, and the stars embed them self's in the turnbuckle. Then a cloaked figure shimmers into view.+
Nick: There he is.
Ghul Dhan: What the hell? Snikch you can't fight till I say Get it On!
Snikch: Then say it...
Mills: Not until you ditch the cloak. Gara has to be able to SEE you!
+Snikch shrugs and throws off his cloak, revealing a gray furred rat man.+
Gara: What's this? I have to fight a rodent?
Mills: You fight who I tell you to fight. Now LET'S GET IT ON!(bell rings)
+Snikch draws his pair of Weeping Blades, while Gara draws the Marusame sword. Snikch leaps at Gara swinging his blades in a downward arc, Gara parries with his sword. Snikch swings his tail at Gara's stomach, but Gara back flips away. We see that Snikch has his tail wrapped around a third Weeping Blade.+
Snitch: Interesting, most fools never see it coming. I commend you.
+Gara grins and throws a volley of throwing stars at Snitch. Snitch skillfully knocks them out of the air with his baldes and then throws a return volley at Gara. This time Gara can't dodge them in time and they hit him in the face.+
Gara: DAMN YOU! Take this...
+Gara swings the Marusame blade a shoots a devastating blast of energy at Snikch. Snikch rolls to the side and leaps in to the air.+
Snikch: YOU ARE MINE!!
+Snikch swings his Weeping Blades at Gara but, only manages to make three shallow cuts on his arm. As Snikch lands he sheaths his blades and turns towards Gara.+
Gara: Is that the best you can do? Well it's time for you to di....
+Suddenly Gara goes into convolutions, black goo oozes out of the cuts Snitch made as Gara fall to the canvass. Ghul Dhan walks over to Gara and inspects him.+
Ghul Dhan: This man is dead! Snikch is the winner!
Johnny: It looks like Snikch's poisoned blades were just too much for Gara.
Nick: .... Ok then let's get to the last fight of the night Lina Inverse Vs the random wizard!
Austin: We've taken the best wizard from each of the twelve races of the Warhammer world and put their names in this here hat. I will draw a name at random and that person will be Lina's opponent.
Johnny: But first we have an exclusive interview with Lina courtesy of our own interviewer Debbie Mantenopolus. Debbie what do you got for us?
+Flash to exterior of Lina's dressing room.+
Debbie: Hey guys I'm currently out side Lina's dressing room where the young sorceress is preparing for tonight's fight. (Shouts) Lina can we come in?
+Debbie pushes open the door and walks in. Lina is throwing fire balls at a target that's against the far wall.+
Lina: Fireball! +throws another at the target+
Debbie: So Lina what's your strategy for tonight's main event?
Lina: Well, I'm planning to barbecue who ever my opponent is!
Debbie: And if they ridicule your under developed figure?
Lina: Then they get a Dragon Slave.
Debbie: But wouldn't that kill everyone in the arena?
Debbie: If you're so self conscious of your underdeveloped chest then maybe you should get some implants instead of killing anyone who criticizes you! I mean, god girl just because you don't have a 30 BB bra size is no excuse to fry people who annoy you.
+At this point Lina has a look of pure hatred on her face.+
Lina: HOW DARE YOU!! BURST RONDO!
+The camera get obscured by a huge flash of light, and we hear a high pitched scream. As the light dies down we see that the only thing left of Mantenopolus is a pile of ashes. Lina looks at the camera.+
Lina: Back to you guys.
+In the announcers booth Nick, Johnny, and Austin all have huge sweat drops running down their heads.+
Austin: Umm.... well lets choose the wizard. +Reaches in to the hat.+ And Lina's opponent is.... Nagash the Black? What the hell? He wasn't in here, where's the real representative for the Undead?
+The camera turns on the audience and we see and old man wearing robes made of flesh trying to sneak away.+
Austin: Hold it right there! Himrich Kremlar! You're supposed to be Lina's opponent!
+Kremlar turns to the booth.+
Kremlar: Well I don't want to get my ass barbecued by that little bitch!
Nick: Oh yeah you WILL get in that ring! Security!
+Gogetza and Garshrink walk up to Kremlar.+
Gogetza: Now, you will get in that ring or I will kill you.
+Kremlar slams his staff into Gogetza's stomach and runs. Gogetza gets back up.+
Gogetza: Come back here you SOB!
+Gogetza and Garshrink run after him.+
Nick: Ok then I guess we'll have to put Nagash in the ring.
Johnny: Here comes Lina!
+Lina jumps into the ring and waves at all her fans.+
Johnny: Now where's Nagash?
+The Arena suddenly grows dark, and fog rolls over the floor, an evil cackle is heard. Then emerging from the doors on the other side off the Arena... NAGASH! He is 20 ft tall and wears armor as dark as night, he carries a 10 ft tall sword. He walks down his isle and steps into the ring.+
Johnny: In the blue corner the most deadly sorceress of all time LINA INVERSE!
And in the red corner the lord of the undead NAGASH THE BLACK!!
(boos and jeers)
Ghul Dhan: I want a good clean fight! LET'S GET IT ON!
+Lina starts out by throwing a fireball at Nagash, but it has no effect against Nagash's armor. Nagash smiles and kicks Lina into the air, he then punches her into the canvass. Lina struggles to get to her feet but Nagash kicks her into the turnbuckle. Lina picks her self up and winces in pain, she is bleeding from a gash in her for head.+
Nick: It look's like Lina's trying to cast the Dragon Slave!
+Nagash won't let her finish. He kicks her into the air yet again and catches her in his free hand. He then begins to squeeze the life out of her. Lina's screams echo through out the arena.+
Austin: Lina better do something fast or she is going to become one of the undead!
+Lina manages to slip a hand free of Nagashes grasp.+
+A bright flash of light explodes in Nagashes face. As he shields his eyes he drops Lina. Lina in desperation tries casting the Dragon Slave again. Nagash growls and raises his sword high and prepares to bring it down.+
Nagash: You will be my greatest minion.
+Right before Nagash can bring his sword down a disturbance traps his attention. Kremlar comes running back in with Gogetza, and Garshrink . Gogetza fires two blasts of energy at Kremlar, and Garshrink shoots his plasma cannon. The wave of energy slams into Kremlar disintegrating him, and it keeps on going. It slams into the ring throwing Nagash to the mat. This gives Lina the time to complete the spell.+
Lina: DRAGON SLAVE!!
+The blast slams into Nagash, the back lash of energy rolls out over the audience. Frying some, but others jump to the ground, Gogetza throws up an energy shield to contain the blast. As the light fades what is left of Nagash lies on the ring. Mills walks on to the ring and over to Lina.+
Mills: The winner do to the use of extreme force... Lina Inverse!
Nick: That's it! It's all over... Lina is the winner!
Austin: +looks at watch+ Good god,this was long. Can we go home now?
Johnny: Well that's all the time we have for tonight!