Broadcasting around the universe...... and to almost EVERY parallel dimention... this is....
The leader in violence this side of the Malestrom.....
+Pryotechnics light up the Arena and the crowd comes to it's feet. Nick, Johnny and Austin are ready to go.+
Nick: Greetings fight Otaku! And welcome to the Arena! We've got a hell of a match for ya. It promises blood, violence, and science!
Johnny: That's right Nick, allot more than Einstein's theories are going to get torn up when Ritsuko Akagi fights Washu-chan.
Austin: I'll tell ya, these two scientists are ready to kick each others asses for the most coveted title a scientist can receive. The Greatest Scientific Genus of The Universe! Ritsuko has had enough of Washu's self proclaimed title. And she want's Washu to put up or shut up.
Nick: Washu, never being one to refuse a challenge, accepted and their going to settle things right here once and for all!
Johnny: But a regular fight to the death just didn't seem to justify their intelligence. So we've made this an.... EXTREME SCIENCE DEATHMATCH!
That's right they must kill each other with science.
Nick: They've both got the know how and the extremely deadly inventions to pull this off. But we've added yet another factor to this equation Gogetza will explain....
+Camera swichs to Gogetza, who is standing next to the ring.+
Gogetza: Thanks Nick, now as some of you people might know we've got alot of mechnaics and inventors around here. They have built and astonding amount of destructive devices and wepons. Tonight our fighters will have those wepons at their diposal! (looks around) That is as soon as SkarGob bring them up.
+Then as if on cue, SkarGob comes rolling up in a Baneblade Super Heavy. It's dragging a trailer behind it.+
Standard BaneBlade Super Heavy Battle Tank
SkarGob: I gotz the stuff boss!
Gogetza: Good! Now get it set up already!
Nick: We'll be right back after these commercial messages, with some interviews then the main event!
+We see a Joseph Bugman standing a bar, he takes a drink of beer. Misato sits down in front him.
Misato: I'd like a Bugmans XXXXX Brew please.
+Bugman nods and slides Misato a mug. She takes one sip and passes out.+
Bugman: Yes, that's Bugman's XXXXX Brew, so much alcohol the FDA should outlaw it. Get straight from your local bar!
Nick: Ahhh, yes theirs nothing better than a cold mug of Bugman's XXXXX Brew.
Johnny: You said it Nick!
Austin: Any way our interviewing girl Lina has the scoop on tonight's fighters.
+Camera flashes to Lina, who's standing next to Ritsuko.+
Lina: So Ritsuko, you were the genius who brought us the Eva's. What diabolical plans do you have in store for us tonight?
Ritsuko: Well, as you know I've had enough of that little bitches mightier than you attitude. I've got the smarts and the inventions to claim the Greatest Scientific Genus in the Universe title. I'm gonna wipe the floor with her ass!
Lina: Well good luck to ya. Now let's go to Washu-chan.
+Camera flashes to Washu-chan.+
Lina: Now Washu. You've been calling your self the Greatest Scientific Genus in the Universe for years. What do you think of Ritsuko's challenge?
Washu: She's no bother. She may have built the Eva's but I've done so much more! I'll break her scrawny little neck!
Lina: You heard it here first! Back to you guys!
+Camera flashes back to announcers booth.+
Johnny: Austin will you give us the vital stats?
Name: Ritsuko Akagi
Scientific Position: Chief scientist of NERV
Greatest Creation: The Evangelion Units
Scientific Poststion: Self proclaimed Greatest Scientific Genus in the Universe
Greatest Creation: Ryoko (this is debatable)
And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!
Nick: Let's get this deadly battle under way!
Johnny: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Arena!
In the blue corner hailing from Tokyo 3, Japan... DR. RITSUKO AKAGI!
And her opponent.. in the red corner hailing from the Misaki house hold, Japan WASHU-CHAN!
+Camera flashes to ring.+
Ghul Dhan: Ok you two, both of you make Einstein look like a dunce, but I want a good clean fight. Now LET'S GET IT ON!(bell rings)
+Washu and Ritsuko are about to start fighting when a bunch of shouts erupt from the other room. A short girl with elf like ears walks down the ramp towards the ring. She is acconmanied by a mysterious man in a dark cloak.+
Johnny: Oh my God! It's Washu's greatest rival! Yume from the No Need for Tenchi manga series! What's she doing here!
Yume: I'll tell you why I'm here! I'm three times the genius that either of these idiots are! And you didn't contact me to take part in this fight!
Nick: Well that's to bad. You aren't part of this match so get out of here!
+Gogetza, Garshrink and a bunch of Orks walk up to Yume.+
Gogetza: Are you going to come quietly or do I have to throw you out?
Yume: How dare you talk to me like that! Hishima deal with these fools!
Hishima: Yes mistress.
+Hishima begins to throw blasts of energy at Gogetza and the rest. Gogetza and the Orks pull back under the incredible assault. Garshrink and the Orks throw back some counter fire with their shootas but it isn't effective. Gogetza pulls out a com-link and speaks into it.+
Gogetza: If you have a clear shot take it!
+Suddenly two lazcannon shots fly down from the rafters of the arena and hit Yume and Hishima in the heads. Their skulls explode in a bloody mess as their bodies fall to the ground. Deathmaster Snikch drops from the rafters and lands infront of Gogetza clutching the lazcannon in his hands and with a big grin on his face.+
Snikch: That brings my total up to... 135 kills. +Pulls out a weeping blade and scratches a line on the barrel of the Lazcannon.+ Any way now you can get back to the match.
+Gogetza and the rest of the force wanders off.+
Johnny: Now I remember why we pay them so much. But now that Yume and Hishima are gone Ritsuko and Washu are going at it!
+Washu and Ritsuko run to theri corners and grab some hardware. Ritsuko grabs a Lazcannon and hefts it on to her shoulder. Washu goes for a Thundersheild.+
Nick: They've already gone for some high tech items. Ritsuko has chosen the Rapier Class Lazcannon while Washu has taken the Angel Class Thudersheild.
+Ritsuko fires a volley of shots at Washu. Washu raises the Thundersheild and blocks them all. The shield glows and then spits the shots right back at Ritsuko.
Ritsuko rolls to the side and charges Washu she swings the Lazcannon into the side of Washu's skull.+
Austin: Well apparently she decided to use that thing as a huge ass club!
Washu: That hurt you little bitch.
+Washu slams the Thundersheild into Ritsuko's face leaving a cross impression in the side of her face.+
Johnny: But Washu returns the favor!
Washu: Eat that you hussy!
Ritsuko: I'm not done with you yet!
+Ritsuko walks back over to her side she looks around and pulls out a Power Fist. She slips in over he right hand and turns back to Washu. Washu's ready for Ritsuko with a Power Claw. They run at each other. Ritsuko swings the power fist into Washu side and a audible crack is heard. Washu grits her teeth and slices off the Power Fist. Ritsuko stumbles back towards her corner. +
Nick: Washu has gained the upper hand by destroying Ritsuko's! I wonder what other tricks she's got?
Washu: Alright Ritsuko pre pare for my most dangerus invention. MECHA WASHU!!
+Washu's robot walks into the ring.+
Washu: Mecha Washu! Kill her!
Mecha Washu: Ok.
+Mecha Washu powers up her lazer, and fires it at Ritsuko. Ritsuko rolls out of the way. Ritsuko goes for her corner again, this time she pulls out the big guns. She floats up in a Grav Platform out fitted with a very high power Lazcannon.+
Ritsuko: Time to meat your maker.
+Ritsuko opens fire. The blast destoys Mecha Washu in a shower of parts.+
Washu: NO! THAT ISN'T EVEN MINE!! I BOROWED IT FROM TV WASHU!
Ritsuko: Send me the bill....
+Ritsuko takes aim with the Lazcannon and fries. The beam streaks towards Washu, but she manages to duck at the last minute. The beam ricoshes off the wall and streaks into the air, it then bounces off one of the girders and shoots at the announcers booth.+
Johnny: LOOK OUT!!!!!
+They throw them selfs to the floor of the booth, as the beam bounces off the back wall and shoots right at Skar Gob's tank. It slamms into the veachle totally destroying it. Skar Gob stumbles forward, a look of total disbelif on his face.+
Skar Gob: My tank......... YOU DESTROYED MY TANK!!!
+Skar Gob turns towards Ritsuko his eyes blood red. He whips out his spanner(big wrench) and charges right at Ritsuko. He clamps the spanner around her neck and twists, her head pops off in a shower of gore.+
Johnny: OH MY GOD!
+A bunch of Goblins run out carrying a strecher. They pick up Ritsuko's body, put it on the strecher and carry it away.+
Nick: And their goes Ritsuko to the infermary.
+Ghul Dhan walks over to Washu-chan.+
Ghul Dhan: And the winner is WASHU-CHAN!!!